4 Other Times Ianto Jones Wanted To Shoot Owen
by PinkFairy727
Summary: In which Ianto is annoyed by pink light, loud noises, an early morning wake-up call and Owen having something nobody else was meant to see. Slight Jack/Ianto.


**Authors Notes: **This is an old story I wrote last year and posted on LJ. I've only just realised I've not posted it here. This is a present for semisweetsoul.

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**4 Other Times Ianto Jones Wanted To Shoot Doctor Owen Harper**

Ianto took a moment to just stand and readjust before walking into the main section of the Hub- the white and metal surroundings a stark contrast to the poorly lit and- despite his best efforts- dusty archives.

The place was deserted. Gwen was at home with Rhys, Tosh late-night shopping in the City Centre and Owen was out getting drunk in a bar somewhere. A few weeks earlier Jack had disappeared on a blue police phone box and nobody knew when- or if- he would come back. Even Myfanwy was sleeping.

Thinking lovingly of the curry he had in his freezer and the large pile of unwatched DVD's in his living room, Ianto decided to head home for a well-deserved night off. The Rift was quiet, the pterodactyl fed and he had tided the Hub earlier that evening.

Ianto rinsed out the last stray coffee cup before turning off the lights. Just as he turned around to head back towards the entrance a faint, pink glow coming from Owen's autopsy room distracted him.

That was unusual. Ianto had seen a number of strange things in that room- including an alien gerbil explode after taking a drink of Owen's coffee- but never anything pink.

Cautiously, Ianto approached the autopsy bay swearing when he identified the source of the strange light. Owen's latest test subject was still lying on the table, most of its insides now decorating the wall.

Sighing, Ianto grabbed a bucket and mop from the cupboard in the corner of the room, vowing to dye Owen's hair pink the next time he fell asleep at his desk.

***

Ianto failed to stifle a yawn as the yellow street lights swam past the SUV. Jack- looking as full of life as ever- grinned at him from the driver's seat. This did nothing to improve Ianto's mood.

It was three o' clock in the morning and he had been woken up- on his day off- by Jack's PDA going berserk. Something had triggered the alarms in the Hub and they had to go and investigate.

Ianto yawned again as Jack parked the SUV, wishing he was back in his nice warm bed. He huddled into his coat as they ran towards the fake Tourist Information Centre, the place, according to Jack's PDA, the alarm had been triggered.

Snow had been falling for several hours and had left a white blanket across the Plass. Even in his half-asleep state, Ianto noted the similarities between his surroundings and the Christmas card he had received off his elderly neighbour a few months earlier.

Jack was already at the entrance, his gun drawn, ready to open the door. Ianto drew out his own as he approached. He was starting to wake up slightly as the cold wind blew against his face and forced its way through his long coat.

Kicking the door open, Jack charged into the room, immediately aiming his gun at the startled, half-asleep figure sitting on the floor. Ianto walked through the door before walking straight back out again, swearing fluently in Welsh under his breath.

Jack holstered his gun but remained where he was. "Tell me, Owen, just why were you trying to get into the Hub in the first place?"

***

The entire team was gathered in the boardroom, watching a homemade video of the team Gwen had spent the last few days making. Owen held a bucket of popcorn while the girls were sharing a tub of ice cream. Jack was sharing a large bar of chocolate with Ianto whilst futility trying to persuade Owen to give him some popcorn.

It was common knowledge that Owen kept a video camera in his desk, which he claimed was for his Weevil research, and had agreed to let her borrow it for a week, provided she didn't break it and she went and dug out Ianto's secret stash of biscuits.

Biscuits acquired, Gwen had taken the camera and despite some initial protests- mostly from Tosh and Ianto- the team had allowed her to film them around the Hub. She spent the next few days filming everyone and editing the footage, after Tosh gave her quick tutorial on how to use the video editing software. Owen had burned it onto a disk for her when she had returned the camera, as it was Tosh's day off.

On the screen, Tosh was completing a Sudoku puzzle from a newspaper pullout while Owen attempted the crossword on the next page. Ianto could be heard in the background shouting out the answers to the questions Owen couldn't answer.

The clip jumped unexpectedly from the full colour image of Owen sticking his tongue out at Ianto to a grainy, black and white picture. The colour faded from Owen's face as he realised what the footage was.

"Is that Ianto?" Gwen asked in surprise. Jack nodded, slightly stunned.

"I didn't know you two could do yoga," Tosh commented. Ianto didn't reply.

Without warning, Owen leapt from his seat and ran out of the room, Ianto right behind him.

"Gwen?" Jack asked. "Can I keep this?"

***

Ianto sighed. There it was again. He turned over and closed his eyes, hopefully this time it would go away.

…Nope, still there.

He buried his head under his pillow, trying to drown out the roaring in the next room. That didn't work either.

Grumbling under his breath, Ianto sat up and placed his head in his hands. This was ridiculous- he was never going to sleep at this rate.

Earlier that evening, just as it got to the best bit in iGoldeneye/i, Owen had turned up on the doorstep, looking like a drowned rat and seeking refuge, having lost the keys to his own apartment in a bar.

Grudgingly, Ianto had let him in and tried not to think about how hard it was going to be to clean the carpet, where Owen's muddy trainers were leaving footprints.

Owen was passed out on Ianto's sofa after finishing off the last of the beer in his fridge. He had been snoring for the last hour and Ianto was starting to lose patience.

Slowly, Ianto raised his head from his hands.

He couldn't hear anything.

Silence.

He had finally stopped.

Ianto glanced at his clock- 2.11 AM. Maybe now, _finally, _he could get some sleep.

A loud snort from the living room, immediately followed by even louder snoring, disrupted Ianto's train of thought. Ianto sank back down with a whimper, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Did you just whine?" Jack asked incredulously, gazing at Ianto with sleepy eyes. Ianto nodded in surprise, he hadn't realised Jack had woken up. Jack laughed quietly, before pulling Ianto towards him.

"Next time Owen turns up on my doorstep," Ianto mumbled into Jack's shoulder, "remind me to give him a tent instead."

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